Of Snobs and Bodyguards
by OlyveTheOctoPus
Summary: Kim Crawford is the spoiled daughter of a famous and wealthy family of cutthroat business moguls, models, and socialites. She's lived her entire life wildly partying. That is, until she meets Jack Brewer, a police officer who is tasked with guarding her when her father ends up in the hospital. She can't stand him. He can't stand her. Can anything good come of this pairing? Kick AU
1. Chapter 1

**Story: Of Snobs and Bodyguards  
Rating: Rated High T for now... not sure if this should be M or not... Might be later...  
Genre: Romance, Drama, Crime, Hurt/Comfort, Humor  
Full Summary: Jack becomes Kim's personal bodyguard after an incident in a hotel. He thinks she's a snobby little bitch. She thinks he's an arrogant asshole. Can anything good come of this pairing?**

**A/N: So I rewatched all of Kickin' It seasons 1 & 2 and became re-obsessed with Kim and Jack's personalities and warping them! Got this idea when I watched Kung Fu Cop! (Well, at least I got the Jack as a cop idea from the episode. The rest is from my own twisted mind).  
**

**I really shouldn't be writing a new story... But I COULDN'T HELP IT!**

**Enjoy!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Kickin' It and am merely using the characters for your and my entertainment.**

* * *

_KIM CRAWFORD GETS BUSTED BY COPS FOR THROWING WILD RAVE ON STOLEN YACHT_

_"Miss Crawford! How did your father react when he found out the news?!"_

_"Kim, this is your third infraction of the month! Are you on probation yet?"_

_"Miss Crawford! How does it feel to make headlines for the fourth time in a row?!"_

_"Kim, what are your plans for your next party?"_

She winked at the news caster, "It's gonna be huge. I'm thinking… _stadium_ huge."

Kim laughed merrily at their dropped jaws and pushed past the news cameras saucily. Grace and Donna followed closely behind her, throwing kisses at the cameramen and paparazzi flashing pictures. They entered the booming night club when the bouncer opened the doors, and Kim took off her mink fur coat and threw it at the coat hanger, slipping a wad of bills into his uniform's chest pocket.

"Make sure they don't get wrinkled, mmkay?" She blew into his ear, and then smirked like a cat when his face turned red.

He nodded rapidly and raced off to put their coats away. And probably stash the tip money somewhere. Men were so easy to seduce.

Grace tapped Kim's shoulder. "Let's get some drinks."

"No way. We came here to party. So let's go dance!" She said over the loud music, laughing loudly.

She pulled the girls out onto the dance floor and just let her body go, ignoring all the other people around them and dancing to the booming bass and music. Some guys tried to dance with her, but she ignored them, letting them go away on their own. A few minutes later, Donna shook her lightly.

"Hey Kim." She half shouted in her ear, "That guy over there has been giving you the eye for a while."

Of course he was giving her the eye. Kim knew she looked amazing. Dressed in her leather mini skirt and cropped tube top, she looked irresistible. She finished the hot look with some strappy high heels to make her legs look longer.

Kim rose a brow, "Who?"

"The one in the blue shirt. He's cute!"

She just laughed and turned around, holding his gaze from across the room and giving him a sultry raised eyebrow before spinning around again and ignoring him. Just as she expected, he came shortly after and wrapped his arms around her waist, dancing closely against her back. Kim grinned, and moved her hips more sultrily, grinding up against him sensually. She heard his breathing get harsher, and he lowered his lips to her shoulder, placing some light kisses against it.

"You are so sexy…" he muttered in her ear.

He spun her around to face him, and she curved her lips up into a cat-like grin, "You wanna get out of here?" she whispered lowly into his ear.

He pulled her off the dance floor, leading her through the throng of people and out the back of the club where he the parked his car. He drove them downtown, going toward the nearby hotel. Kim eyed him, making note of his features. He was pretty attractive, she'd give him that. A little too pretty boy for her tastes, but whatever. Kim leaned over and slid one hand up his thigh, biting her lip and looking up at him through hooded eyes with a fake innocent look.

"If you start that up now, we might not make it to the hotel." He growled, though he didn't stop her hand.

She leaned over further and kissed the shell of his ear lightly, before kissing down his neck, "Then I guess you better drive faster."

He did.

They had barely gotten inside and closed the door of their hotel room when he had her shoved up against the wall, kissing her roughly without prelude. She gripped the front of his shirt and ripped it off of him, buttons flying everywhere. She put her hands on his abdomen and shoved him harshly backwards onto the bed before climbing on while yanking off her shirt and throwing it somewhere in the corner of the room.

"You're pretty rough." He said in between wet kisses, panting breathlessly. "Does your dad know what you're doing?"

"My dad doesn't own me…" she grinned, unbuckling his belt.

"But still…" he stilled her hand, "I really don't want him coming out of nowhere and ripping off my balls and feeding them to me. I'm not in danger of that or anything, am I? He's not in this hotel is he?"

Kim laughed. "Well, he _is_ in the penthouse suite of this hotel with his mistress right now. But don't worry. He's totally preoccupied." She pouted, "So stop worrying about it and let's get on with it!"

His eyes narrowed. "He's in the penthouse?"

Before she could register what happened, the man flung her off of him. Kim bounced off the bed and hit the ground hard, squealing in anger.

"What the hell!" she glared up at him, only to find he was holding a rope and tape. "What do you think you're you doing?"

Someone came behind her and held Kim still when she tried to stand up. "Would you hurry up?" came the feminine voice, "We need to get her dad before he finishes up." She shoved Kim face down onto the ground, forcing her to stay still while she tried to thrash around to escape.

The man made quick work of tying her arms together and then attached her to the foot of the bed. Kim glared at the two of them, trying to kick at them and free herself at the same time. The woman held down her legs.

"Why'd you only bring one rope you dumbass?" she hissed.

"I didn't really think we needed two." He replied.

"Next time _don't_ think numbskull. Just _do_. And would you please put on a shirt?!"

"She ripped it!" he cried indignantly.

Kim yanked on her arms, trying to free herself, "Why are you tying me up?! Are you trying to get money? I can give you money!"

The woman sneered at Kim, her blue eyes frosty, "We're not interested in your shit money. We want your daddy's head on a platter, sweetheart."

Kim's eyes widened, "What? Why?!"

She scoffed, "Brain dead _and_ clueless. Your father is buying out our hard earned land and planning to demolish our homes in order to create a chain of hotels. On top of that, we lost our jobs because he bought out the companies we worked at."

"Why do you have to kill him though? Can't you just have a petition?!" Kim tried to kick her legs at the woman as she stood, but she got up too quickly.

"Hah! A petition! What a joke. What are you, twelve?" she crouched down and gave Kim a nasty look, "Your father owns sixty-eight percent of this city. A measly petition isn't going to get the city council to want to change a thing."

"Well that's no reason to kill him!"

Kim cried out when the woman harshly kicked her in the side, "Shut up. When you grow up and finally face reality, then come back and try to convince me this isn't the answer." She snapped her fingers and the man stooped down and covered Kim's mouth with tape.

Kim screamed as loudly as she could, but the sound was muffled by the tape. Standing up, the two of them began to walk out the door. Before the door shut though, the woman leaned back and smirked at Kim.

"It's too bad you didn't get a chance to say goodbye to your dad. Oh well!"

The door clanged shut and Kim shouted again, hoping anyone could hear her. She tried to wet the tape with her lips to loosen it up, but he had tied it so tightly that her lips could barely move. Painfully, forcing her lips apart, she finally had enough room to wet it. She licked the tape and drooled on it until the stickiness diminished and the tape lost its purchase. It slackened and loosened on her mouth, though it didn't fall off her face completely.

Kim had to get to her phone. Wiggling around, she tried to loosen it up from its position in her bra by crawling like a caterpillar until she was sitting on her knees. She shimmied and shook until finally, her phone plopped onto the carpet.

Kim used her toe to speed dial the number that her family used for immediate on-call policeman.

_"Miss Crawford?"_

"I'm at the Rizz Hotel in Room 213! Send some help! My dad is in the penthouse suite and there are some people going after him to kill him!"

_"We're sending someone immediately! Try to stay safe!"_

Kim pulled on her arms harder, trying to get free. It was no good. The man had tied her arms extremely tightly. She slumped to the ground, whimpering at her predicament. Someone pounded loudly on the door. Well that was fast.

"Miss Crawford?"

"Yes! I'm in here! Hurry!"

A man from the police force kicked open the door. Seeing Kim, he turned back around to his companions, "She's in here! Someone free her!"

"My dad! What about my dad?" she grimaced in pain when one the officers ripped the tape off her face.

"They're already heading up there."

Her arms finally freed, she rubbed her wrists, standing up, "We need to get up there now!"

She kicked off her heels and raced out the door with the policemen in tow. People in the hallway shouted and hopped out of the way of the determined group. Kim and her entourage raced into the elevator and pounded the 15 floor button. She hoped so badly that her father was unharmed. The walkie talkie on the chest of the main officer sounded, a voice being heard through it.

_"We've caught them, sir. They are no longer a threat."_

"Good, we're almost there."

Kim let out a huge sigh of relief, slumping against the wall. When the elevator opened, she raced out and looked frantically around.

"Where's my dad?"

"He's been taken to the hospital. Nothing major. He just said he was having heart palpitations." An officer told her, putting his hand on her shoulder to calm her down.

"You got lucky, you bitch."

Kim frowned and looked at the two would be assassins. They were pinned against the wall, handcuffed and subdued.

Kim's lip curled as she glared at the woman, "You're going to jail and my dad is alive. You _lost_."

The woman glared at Kim, "You think you're scot free just cuz _we_ got captured? There's plenty more of us who want your dad gone. And there's gonna be plenty more where this came from." She spat on the floor near Kim's feet before being yanked out of the penthouse by the police.

Kim frowned. There were more people plotting to kill her father?

A police officer tapped Kim on the shoulder, "Your father requests that we escort you to our station. We can figure out everything then."

She listened and followed the police officer out of the door, annoyed. She just wanted to go to her room and sleep. What was the point of going to the station?

* * *

**Jack and Kim meet next chapter!**

**Questions? Concerns? Lemme know :)  
**


	2. Chapter 2

**Story: Of Snobs and Bodyguards  
Rating: Rated High T for now... not sure if this should be M or not... Might be later...  
Genre: Romance, Drama, Crime, Hurt/Comfort, Humor  
Full Summary: Jack becomes Kim's personal bodyguard after an incident in a hotel. He thinks she's a snobby little bitch. She thinks he's an arrogant asshole. Can anything good come of this pairing?**

**Enjoy!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Kickin' It and am merely using the characters for your and my entertainment.**

* * *

"Good morning Officer Brewer!"

"Get out of my way." He barked.

The rookie jumped and nearly threw himself out of Jack's way as he came barreling through the hallway, looking pissed beyond belief. It wasn't often that Jack's mood turned deadly, but _clearly_ he was having one of _those_ days. The rookie gulped, hoping whoever was going to end up on the end of his sour mood would survive the ordeal.

Jack kicked the door to the main police room open. It hit the door jamb with such a loud bang that all chattering and conversation in the room ceased. Everyone stilled and stared at the livid man, all sweatdropping. Jack was _pissed_. This was not good.

"Rudy!" he bellowed, "I was literally ten minutes away from busting up the drug game that's been plaguing the corner of 5th and Wayne! This had better be fucking important!"

Rudy sighed, having already anticipated Jack's murderous temper. "Jack, you're being reassigned."

"Reassigned to what?" he said, deathly calm. Nobody bought the false sense of calm in his voice. Jack's eyes were still on fire. He was going to blow. They just knew it.

"Not to what. To whom." Rudy pointed to a blonde woman, sitting in one of the chairs with a towel wrapped around her shoulders. She was pouting and looked put off for whatever reason. Jack's glare intensified.

"No way. I'm not babysitting some damn bratty woman."

"Excuse me?" she cried indignantly, "I'm not some brat. I'm Kim Crawford."

He barely spared her a glance, "And I couldn't fucking care less. Rudy, what the hell is she doing here anyway? And why am I supposed to watch over her like she's some damn baby?"

"Jack, it was the decision of the higher ups. I'm sorry. I didn't have a say in the decision."

"Of all the deadbeat cops to pick for this job, they picked _me_? One of their best?"

"They didn't pick you." Rudy said quietly. Everyone held their breath. "Mr. Crawford did."

Jack's eyes flashed in anger, "What. How is he authorized to make that kind of decision?"

Rudy rubbed the fingers of one hand together, in the known sign that represented money.

Jack's glare turned deadly. "Are you fucking kidding me?" he said slowly through tightly clenched teeth.

Kim rolled her eyes, "Well my dad _does_ own the entire police force. He's allowed to get whomever he wants. He wanted only the best protection for his baby."

Jack spun to face her, his eyebrow twitching in annoyance, "I can only assume you're the brat he wants to keep safe?"

"Not a brat Officer Brewer." She smiled coyly up at him, crossing her legs and looking regal despite her hair being in disarray and her skirt riding up her thighs. "But yes. Kim Crawford. Pleased to make your acquaintance. Now if you would stop insulting me, maybe you could learn _why_ you've been tasked with this job."

Someone snickered after that, and Jack's face darkened considerably as he glared at her. Kim only sassily rose an eyebrow, challenging his look with an unaffected one of her own. Rudy cleared his throat, trying to get their attention from their standoff before one of them tried to strangle the other. He could already tell this wasn't going to end well. Jack wasn't known for his patience or congeniality. And with a free spirit like Kim, it was only a matter of time before one or the other snapped.

"Well anyway, Jack. This was reported earlier this evening." Rudy picked up a remote control and set to play a news recording from earlier on the small TV in the corner.

_Mr. Crawford, Seaford's big entrepreneur, has been in the spotlight recently for his huge plans in expanding Seaford's downtown. He invested in a multimillion dollar construction company in order to expand the Glum into a tourist attraction. He has stated in previous interviews that he intends to make Seaford one of the most desired vacation destinations. Earlier tonight, Crawford was almost assassinated while meeting his mistress at the Rizz Hotel in mid Seaford. The culprits' plan did not succeed due to a stroke of luck when they tripped on some lingerie, alerting the amorous couple to the fact that there was an intruder. Mr. Crawford escaped relatively unscathed, but unfortunately suffered rather immense heart palpitations._

Jack scoffed and rolled his eyes, "Heart palpitations my ass. He was probably just scare off his dick."

_His daughter, Kim Crawford who also recently made headlines after a party gone wild, was also found tied up in the hotel. Thankfully, both family members were okay, but Mr. Crawford has promised to find and destroy anyone who comes after him and his family ever again. The police are currently doing everything in their power to investigate this matter._

Rudy shrugged his shoulders at Jack, "And there ya have it. Nothing we can do."

Kim looked disgusted, "Did they really air that tape? Look at my hair! It looks like crap!"

The men in the station stared incredulously at her, trying to figure out if she was for real. Her life and her father's life were now in danger and all she cared about was what her hair looked like on the newscast?

"Since when am I a damn bodyguard Rudy?!" Jack threw a hand in Kim's direction, "You know I'm meant to be out on the streets fighting crime! I have plans and unfinished business, and I don't have the time to watch over some spoiled bitch."

"Your plans won't be disturbed at all Jack. You just have to keep her out of danger."

"Spoiled bitch?" she cried indignantly, "You don't even know me, you asshole!"

He sneered at her, "I don't need to know you to tell what kind of woman you are. Loose with no outstanding capabilities. I'm surprised you didn't get offed last night with _your_ level of intelligence."

"Excuse me? How the hell was I supposed to know what the guy was planning to do?"

"Didn't your dad ever teach you not to go off with strangers? Rule number one, dumbass."

"Like you haven't ever just picked up a random woman before. Oh wait, for that to happen, you'd have to be able to _get_ a woman."

His scowl deepened, and he looked insulted, "I can get women just fine."

"With a tiny dick like yours? Suuuure you can."

Everyone held their breath and their laughter as Jack's face turned stormy. No doubt the insult to his manhood had pissed him off. Way more than his reassigning. Kim Crawford should run. Like immediately.

Jack bent down in front of her, his face close to hers, and his eyes frosty.

"So you like to play games, huh?" he said lowly. Kim's skin prickled in alarm, "If I were you, I'd stop your little charade because right now, I'm the only one who's keeping you safe. Keep it up, and I might just leave you to fend for yourself against these assailants."

Her eyes narrowed, and she matched his tone, "Are you suggesting that you'd let them kill me?"

His eyes narrowed too, "I don't know. Am I?"

Rudy slid his arm around Jack and pulled him backwards, away from Kim before he (most likely) strangled her or something. This standoff had to end. And possibly BEFORE anyone ended up with a bloody nose.

"Jack c'mon. Just chill a bit."

He shrugged Rudy off of him and glared, "So what. That's it. I just babysit her throughout the day while she runs around with her friends?"

Rudy grimaced, "It's not quite that simple. You see, we have reason to believe that Kim's home has been compromised, so we need to find new lodgings for her."

Jack's frown deepened. He didn't like the sound of that at all. "What do you mean Rudy?"

"I mean she has to live with you until all this blows over."

"Absolutely not!"

"I refuse!"

They interjected harshly in unison.

"Look, I know this arrangement sounds really shitty, but you guys are going to have to deal with it." Rudy shrugged, "I don't make the rules: I just enforce them. And Jack, if you really are annoyed with this decision, you can take your rebuttal to the director. But then, he _still_ hasn't forgiven you yet for sleeping with his daughter, so I don't think it would be very wise."

Jack's face burned red, and he shut his mouth, looking embarrassed. Rudy turned to Kim.

"And Kim, if you don't like this situation, take it up with your father, because we cannot defy his wishes. And quite frankly, be glad that you're getting a good cop to watch over you. You're lucky your father cares so much about you."

He gave the both of them a look. "I don't want any more fighting in my station, got that? Jack, I need you to take Kim to our safe house by the docks for tonight. She'll be safe there. Tomorrow, go with her to wherever she was staying and pick up her stuff to move in with you."

With a nod of finality, Rudy turned on his heel and left to enter his office, leaving behind a silent room of gawking individuals, a shocked Kim, and a livid Jack.

Turning swiftly, Jack left back the way he came, anger evident in his step. Scrambling to her feet, Kim stood up and followed him.

"Hey wait up!"

The people in the room all stared at each other. Jack wouldn't last a day. And neither would Kim.

Jack stormed through the hallway toward the main doors of the station briskly, making Kim have to power walk to keep up with his pace.

"I said wait up!" He still didn't listen. Having had enough, Kim jumped right in front of him and forced him to stop.

"Why are you so rude, you jackass?" she glared up at him, defiantly crossing her arms across her chest.

He rounded on her, slamming his hand against the wall right next to her head. She jumped and pressed herself against the wall, her eyes widening.

"I can't stand your kind." He hissed, breathing raggedly. "You live your life on a damn cloud however you want while remaining entitled and totally oblivious to everyone else's hard work and suffering. You should really be glad _daddy_ has enough money to pay for your life, because you wouldn't last a damn day in the real world."

With one last disgusted, contemptuous look, he straightened and left the police station. Kim stayed there, eyes wide, stunned into silence.

* * *

**Questions? Concerns? Lemme know :)  
**


	3. Chapter 3

**Story: Of Snobs and Bodyguards  
Rating: Rated High T for now... not sure if this should be M or not... Might be later... WARNING: HEAVY CURSING.  
Genre: Romance, Drama, Crime, Hurt/Comfort, Humor  
Full Summary: Jack becomes Kim's personal bodyguard after an incident in a hotel. He thinks she's a snobby little bitch. She thinks he's an arrogant asshole. Can anything good come of this pairing?**

**A/N: Might not have mentioned it in any of the previous chapters, so let me give you some background: **

**The Glum is the rough and more raunchy part of Seaford. Slowly, Mr. Crawford is buying out hard earned land and businesses in the Glum and trying to turn it into a thriving place for tourism. A lot of the area he plans to turn into hotels. People don't like that. Hence, why they're trying to get rid of him.  
**

**Enjoy!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Kickin' It and am merely using the characters for your and my entertainment.**

* * *

Kim stood in the foyer of Jack's small apartment, less than pleased. First of all, he lived in the Glum near the police station, so she didn't doubt she'd be hearing sirens quite often. That would definitely tamper with her sleep. And Kim _needed_ her sleep. And second? He _clearly_ was a bachelor. _Clearly._ She could just tell from the state of his apartment. Did he ever clean?!

There were empty wrappers and boxes all over the couch, tables and floor, dishes were piled in the sink, and… _were those his dirty boxers?!_

Kim took a small step backwards out of the doorway, disbelief on her face at the trashed room.

"You mind going inside?" Jack grunted from behind her, lugging (well, more like dragging) several of her expensive suitcases through the landing of his apartment complex, "Your shit is heavy."

She frowned and spun around to face him, "You expect me to stay in this dump of an apartment?" Her mouth turned down, "And stop dragging my suitcases! Just one of those is probably worth more than your entire paycheck."

He clenched his jaw, stalking past her silently, hoping that maybe if he didn't say anything, the shrill buzzing in the background would stop, and she would shut up and just come inside.

"If you don't want to stay here, then good luck finding another place."

Pursing her lips, she walked inside, half expecting it to stink like cigars or something much more distinctly male and disgusting. It didn't reek, per se. But it definitely smelled like a man's home. Kim rolled her eyes. Typical. She would make sure to it that this place would smell much better by tomorrow, especially if she would have to stay here for a long time. With or without his permission.

Jack tugged open the shades and a few windows to let in some fresh air and some of the morning sunlight. The apartment didn't look so drab with the increased lighting, but Kim still could see that the place was a frickin pig sty of epic proportions.

"Do you usually even live here, or are you on call most of the time?"

"What do you think? I'm a cop. I'm always on duty in some way or another. Anyway the guest room is this way."

She followed him toward the back hallway of his small apartment to a room on the far end, adjacent a small closet. He pushed open the door and mothballs and dust greeted them heavily. Kim coughed into her sleeve and swatted in front of her nose dramatically, trying to clear the air of some of the fallen dust. Jack watched her in irritation, his lip slightly curled.

She peered into the room and saw that it was quite small. Though it wasn't dirty, it definitely hadn't been used in a while and had that 'old room' smell that she tended to only smell in her father's mansion's antique rooms and art galleries. The only furniture in the room was a small side dresser and a bed. The bed wasn't particularly huge, but it clearly took up most of the space in the room. How would she be able to hold all of her belongings in there? And Kim had _a lot_ of belongings. The two bags he had already brought up only housed her shoes. The closet in the corner was no doubt absolutely tiny. Where the hell would she put the rest of her stuff? This room looked like it could be the bed chambers of a Hobbit. He didn't seriously think she was just going to stay here, did he?

Kim crossed her arms and glared up at Jack through her specs. "Is this seriously your guest room?"

He smirked, almost in amusement, and Kim's frown intensified. "We don't all live in mansions, Crawford. Like I said, if you don't want to live here, good luck finding another place to stay."

"Oh c'mon! This room is tiny, regardless of whether or not it's in a mansion, and you know it. No grown adult would be able to live here for an extended period of time. Get me a new room!" Jack snorted and haphazardly threw her bags straight into the room without a word, cocking an eyebrow in challenge. She grit her teeth and pointed her finger in his face, "You think this is funny? I have your boss on speed dial, you know, and I have no qualms ringin' him up. Right. Now." She pulled her phone out of her purse and dangled it in front of Jack, her eyes narrowed in response to his silent challenge.

Jack glowered at her, opening his mouth to say something truly nasty back, but there was a loud knock on the front door, followed by a low whistle.

"Damn Jack. That poker night really fucked up your apartment. You still haven't cleaned it up?" It was Jerry. "Heard you got reassigned, Jack. I brought you some cake cuz I know you've gotta be mad about that one! What's your new job any…way…"

Jerry rounded the corner where he heard voices and froze, staring at the two of them in shock. Well, more specifically, staring at Kim like his eyes were deceiving him. He blinked as his jaw slowly unhinged and dropped.

"Hey man… Th-that's… No. Way... You hooked up with _the_ Kim Crawford?! Holy shit Jack! I think you just became the king!"

"Get bent, moron." Jack growled, "I have to babysit the little Princess until those guys who tried to off her dad are caught."

Jerry wasn't listening and his eyes sparkled in excitement. He clamped his free hand on Jack's shoulder, shaking him in almost hysteria. "Dude! That's _Kim Crawford_! Can you imagine what sex with her would be like?"

Kim frowned, a bit grossed out at his comment, "Excuse me? Weirdo? Standing right here, ya know?"

Jack's face curled in disgust and he shoved Jerry's arm off his shoulders, "Jerry, I would never, _ever_ touch that thing with a ten foot pole even if she was the last bottle of fresh water in a desert of 200 degrees."

Kim's glare snapped to Jack, offense clearly in her expression. That was just rude. And what was up with them speaking about her as if she wasn't in the room? It was irritating her.

Jerry's grin grew. "D'ya mind if I go after her, then?"

Enough was enough.

Kim put her hand up in Jerry's face. "Stop. Whoever you are, not interested and never gonna happen."

"Jeez, I was just kidding. You didn't have to shoot me down so hard." He smiled and flashed a ring in her face, "Jerry Martinez. Already married, anyway. Nothing wrong with a little harmless flirting though."

"Well would your _wife_ enjoy that harmless flirting, Jerry, was it?" Kim snapped back.

He scratched the back of his head, "Um... If we could just keep this between the two of us, that'd be great, yo." He smiled nervously and turned to Jack, "She's pretty spunky, Jack. I think she's a keeper."

"We aren't together Jerry." He reiterated in annoyance.

Kim just rolled her eyes, ignoring their little bickering and peeked her head into the cramped room once again, looking around in disgust. She didn't doubt that Jack's room was plush and comfortable and large enough to _actually_ house a person. This was definitely a major step down from what she was used to. It wasn't fair… Why did this have to happen to her?

"Don't you have any other family that lives nearby that you can stay with?" Jack's sudden comment broke her out of her observations.

"What?"

"Where's your mom in all of this anyway? Doesn't she care that her husband almost died?"

Kim frowned, "My parents divorced when I was a kid numbnut. She's never even been in the picture. She's got some new family out east. My dad told me she left the family because she just couldn't handle my father's family's fame. What a fucking joke."

"Why don't you go stay with her? You wouldn't even be in danger anymore because you wouldn't be in Seaford."

"Why the hell would I stay with the bitch who abandoned her only daughter? A woman like that doesn't even deserve to have children."

"How the fuck could you say something like that?" Jack's expression turned stormy. "Regardless of what she did, she still is your mother."

"Yeah? Well I don't consider her my mother." Kim snapped, her attitude souring even further. She didn't want to be having this conversation right now. Especially not with this arrogant son of a bitch.

Jack was fuming, irritated with her flippant comments, "Shut the hell up…"

"What's wrong with _you_? It's not like I even said anything about you." Kim crossed her arms and stared up at him defiantly, sensing a crack in his usually cool-headed demeanor and deciding to exploit it.

"You should really learn to appreciate what you have." He growled quietly.

"What? Oh Boo hoo. Now, are you going to tell me that you don't have a mother, and I should be more grateful?" She yanked off her glasses and gave him a condescending glare, "Cry me a river. Different people have different experiences. Just cuz _you_ miss your mom doesn't mean _I_ should be happy with mine. You think I give a rat's ass?"

For a second there, it almost looked like Jack was about to blow. He looked _mad as hell_ and his expression was definitely not one that anyone would want to be on the receiving end of. Thankfully, he took a deep, ragged breath and got his temper in check. But enough was enough. He was going to the board tomorrow to appeal for relocation. He had to, before he strangled this dumb chick and lost his job and was sent to jail.

"I can't stand you…" He grit out.

She sniffed prissily, rolling her eyes, "Well I don't like you either."

Jerry looked back and forth between the two of them, feeling really uncomfortable. "Wow… so um, I'm just… gonna go. Try not to kill each other..."

Neither of them acknowledged his comment or the fact that he had turned around to leave and were instead having an intense glaring match.

Jerry walked out of the apartment shaking his head in disbelief. There was no way anything good would come out of this situation. What the hell had Rudy been thinking? From the way things looked, it seemed like they were on the verge of ripping each other apart. And not in the fun, sexy way.

* * *

**Sorry, I didn't know how to end this chapter so I cut it off pretty abruptly hahaha. Whatevs :3**

**Questions? Concerns? Lemme know :)  
**


	4. Chapter 4

**Story: Of Snobs and Bodyguards  
Rating: Rated High T for now... not sure if this should be M or not... Might be later...  
Genre: Romance, Drama, Crime, Hurt/Comfort, Humor  
Full Summary: Jack becomes Kim's personal bodyguard after an incident in a hotel. He thinks she's a snobby little bitch. She thinks he's an arrogant asshole. Can anything good come of this pairing?**

**Thank you for the kind reviews! I appreciate them very much :)**

**A/N: By the way, I ship Jika ALL THE WAY. Just fyi.**

**Wrote this chapter in an hour and twelve minutes! A brand spanking new record instead of the usual three hours! All because of my playlist being on loop playing BS and Cascada. I think I found my musical muse for this story!**

**Enjoy!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Kickin' It and am merely using the characters for your and my entertainment.**

* * *

Jack took a deep breath and counted to ten, utilizing those anger management courses Rudy had once forced him to attend in the past. Fat lot of good _that_ was doing. With each passing second as he stood outside the door, his bullshit meter continued to rise. There was only so much he could take before he blew. And right now, Kim was really trying his patience.

And the shower continued to run.

He banged on the door even harder, irritated that she wasn't bothering responding. He had been trying to use the damn bathroom for an hour but she'd been taking a shower for forever. What kind of person took an hour-long shower?! At this rate, she would be using up all the hot water of the entire building! Not to mention she was running up his damn bill! If his water bill was twice the amount he usually paid, he would definitely see to it that the little minx would reimburse him.

After their argument, she had stalked past him and grabbed the rest of her stuff from his car before locking herself in the guest room. She hadn't come out at all the whole day and that was fine by him. He had been going through some of his case file to give to whoever picked up where he had left off on the drug bust, when Kim had suddenly left the guest room in a flourish proclaiming that she would be taking a shower. In his mind, he had assumed that meant ten minutes. Fifteen max.

Clearly he had been very wrong.

"Can you get your fucking ass out of there?! It's been over an hour Crawford!" He banged on the door again, his anger mounting tenfold when she yet again, did not respond. Damn these apartments for only having single bathrooms…

He turned and looked out his living room window. In the time she had been in the shower, the sky had darkened. He had to get to the station sometime tonight to brief his replacement and request his relocation, and she was fucking with his plans.

He knocked harshly once more, and when there was no response, he made up his mind. "That's it. I'm kicking this door open. I warned you!"

Without a word, he planted his foot heavily in the middle of the door and it sprang open, slapping against the wall loudly.

And then Jack froze.

The shower was running alright. But Kim wasn't in there.

Her makeup was scattered all over the counter and there were a couple pairs of shoes on the ground and some outfits hanging off of the towel rack.

And the cherry on top?

The window was open, curtains billowing lightly in the night breeze.

"Hell no…" he growled under his breath. He could feel the rage building up inside of him. He pulled out his phone and dialed the number Rudy had forced her to program into his phone.

He heard the catchy pop tune of her phone going off in the guest room and for a second, he thought maybe she'd just left the shower running irresponsibly. He rounded the corner of the hall and ripped open her door, but the phone was just sitting on the dresser. And obviously, Kim wasn't there.

The voicemail went off.

_"Heeeeeey, you've reached Kim Cuh-rawford. If you're hearing this message, it's cuz you're not important. Oh snap! Yeah, I went there. Oh. And this is my fake phone. Ha. A point for me. Kisses and Hugs. Mwah. Oh, right. And BOOM goes the dynamite. BOOM."_

Jack shut his phone slowly, painstakingly. He stood there for a second, taking deep breaths, trying to figure out if this shit was really happening to him. She had played him. And he did not like that. Without a word, he left his apartment and hopped into his cop car, slamming the door in barely concealed rage. He contacted Rudy on the intercom, gritting his teeth so hard, he was sure he had worn a hole in the tooth by now.

"Sergeant Gillespie. State your case number and emergency."

"Rudy." He growled into the pager.

"Oh it's just you Jack! You scared me for a second. You sound like a bear! Do you need some lozenges? Cuz I have some lozenges."

"No I don't need any fucking lozenges. I need you to track the dumb woman. She ran off somewhere."

Rudy started laughing loudly, thinking the joke was pretty funny. "Jack, this has to be your best one yet."

"You think this is funny, Rudy? I found _this_ little surprise today." Jack said lowly. He called Kim's phone again and held his cell phone up to the pager. _"Heeeeeey, you've reached Kim Cuh-rawford. If you're hearing this message, it's cuz you're not important. Oh snap! Yeah, I went there. Oh. And this is my fake phone. Ha. A point for me. Kisses and Hugs. Mwah. Oh, right. And BOOM goes the dynamite. BOOM."_

There was a moment of silence where neither Rudy nor Jack said a word. Then…

"You _lost_ Kim Crawford?! Oh my God, we're fucking done!"

"None of this would've happened if you had just sent her off in some WPP!"

It sounded like Rudy was scrambling around for something in his office. "Well, if she's got another cell phone, that means she might be using some private family line to contact her friends. That might be why the paparazzi don't know where she goes all the time. I can try to track it and find out who she's called in the past hour or two."

"You better get on that Rudy. Because if something happens to her, we both lose our heads."

Rudy gulped noisily over the intercom and Jack could hear rapid keyboard clicking.

"According to the line, someone named Grace Kensington called her up for some party. She said yes by the way."

Jack's glare turned murderous, "What party…"

"They're going to Club Havana apparently. This is a pretty big party Jack. Advertised for weeks. You better go grab her before something gets ugly. Who knows how many people are going to be there, and if I were trying to get rid of Miss Crawford, this would be the place. Too many spectators to point out one perpetrator, too many people to distinguish faces, and so many people that the guy could easily slip away in the crowd. You catchin' my drift?"

"I'm on my way. But Rudy?"

"Yes, Jack…?" he sighed, already anticipating what his underling was going to say.

"When this whole night is over, you and I are going to have a long talk about my relocation because I won't put up with this shit any longer."

"Just go!"

Jack was sure he must have broken at least six rules of the road on his way to the club, but he didn't care at the moment. Not when he was so pissed off, the only thing going through his mind was to get Kim and possibly lock her up in jail. That way he could easily babysit her and he wouldn't have to use up the space in his home either.

When he got to the club, he stopped right in front of the valet and got out, a sour look adorning his face. The valet looked confused as to why there was a cop car, but he went to the driver's seat anyway.

Jack spun around and snarled at the man, "Don't touch my car. I'll be out in just a minute."

The valet swallowed thickly and nodded his head quickly, backing away without a word.

The bouncer let him in as soon as Jack turned his glare on him and he waltzed inside, his face curling in disgust. It reeked of body odor, sweat, liquor and most definitely weed. And he was pretty sure there was a couple having sex in the corner. His lip curled in disgust. Once upon a time, a _long_ time ago, he had found the party scene to be the greatest thing ever. Looking at it now, he couldn't believe he used to think spending time in places like these was the life. It was disgusting.

A woman suddenly flung herself onto him, and Jack had to hold her to keep her from falling on her face. She was smiling goofily up at him and clinging to his shoulders.

"Hiya handsome…" she slurred, batting her eyelashes in an attempt to look sexy, "Can I buy you a drink?"

He recoiled from the sheer amount of alcohol on her breath and set her down on a stool, prying her deathgripping fingernails off his shoulders. "No thanks. Not interested." She pouted, but then found another specimen and turned away, smiling sultrily.

"Hiya handsome…"

He rolled his eyes and stepped further into the throng of people surrounding the bar.

Yet another reason why he stopped liking these joints. The women. Always acting loose. Always flinging themselves on him. Royal pains in his ass.

He tried to look out on the dance floor to see if he could find Kim, but there were too many bodies, and Jack didn't think Rudy would appreciate him shooting off a gun just to get everyone to shut up so he could find her. He would probably end up on probation for a while if he did that. Or lose his badge.

Sighing in irritation, he knew he wasn't going to get any information standing around and looking for the blonde woman. He knew how these things worked. Grab a drink, get buzzed, hop on the dance floor, find a target, _snag_ said target, and then shag them until the sun came up. No doubt that was the route Kim had taken. The only question was, what stage was she on? At least he figured she would've gone to the bar by now.

He leaned over and tapped the wooden counter. The bartender spun around, looking annoyed but then grinned up at him. "Oh wow. Never thought I'd actually see the day someone attractive came to this club."

"You know I've had a pretty shitty day. I'd really appreciate it if you didn't make any comments about my looks."

She licked her lips slowly, leaning across the counter with her chest pressed up against it, showing off quite a bit of cleavage. "Sure cutie. As long as you buy a drink. And give me a tip. A bartender's gotta make a living somehow."

"Then I'll take a water." He said decisively.

She pouted, "Aww you're no fun." She smiled and straightened back up, "Well if you're not here to drink, what would you like, sir?"

"I'm actually looking for someone. Blonde hair. Permanent bitch face. Probably barely dressed."

She frowned and gestured to the crowd of people, "You're gonna hafta be a lot more specific than that, cutie pie. As you can see, a lot of people match that description."

He was debating whether or not to mention Kim by name. Kim had a pretty bad reputation, and he didn't want to be lumped together with her in any way shape or form. No doubt, this bartender was a gossiper. Good thing he hadn't given her _his_ name.

"Crawford. I'm looking for Kim Crawford."

The bartender's eyes widened. "Whoa. Don't you know she's a one and done kind of gal? I'm sorry she led you on, and I know she's beautiful, but you should really find someone else who can actually care about you."

"What… someone like you?" he said dryly.

She smiled charmingly up at him, "I _am_ available."

He rolled his eyes. "Where is she?"

"VIP lounge upstairs." Jack began to leave. "Don't say I didn't warn you hotshot!" She called after him.

Jack stalked through the throng of dancing people, ignoring some starstruck gazes and clingy hands (he was sure someone pinched his butt a couple times too) and going straight toward the back, where some flashing winding stairs above the DJ led to the VIP lounge.

When he got to the top, a bouncer stopped him. Jack flashed his badge in annoyance. He didn't have time for this shit.

"Officer Brewer of the Seaford Police Department. Here to pick up Kim Crawford."

The bouncer chuckled and opened the line, shaking his head. "Damn. She hired a stripper? Where's your uniform man?"

Jack ignored his comment and walked inside the lounge, growing even more irritated because this floor was almost just as packed as the one below. It didn't help that it was dark, the only lights coming from the shining multicolored dance floor. Perfect concealment. He didn't want to have to do this, but there was no way he would find her this way. Going over to a table, he stepped up on the couch, ignoring the indignant cries of the patrons and peering over the bobbing heads.

And then he found her. Her hair looked green from the light, but there was no doubt that blonde loose ponytail bobbing near the DJ booth was Kim. He pushed his way past several people once again, stalking over to where Kim was, each step making his blood boil even more. She thought she could play games with him and get away with this? She had another fucking think coming.

He stopped next to her and found some guy disgustingly grinding up against her with his hands slowly slipping under her dress, but she clearly didn't care. The guy was super intoxicated. Without a word, Jack grabbed Kim by the arm and snatched her away from the guy. She squealed and stumbled forward, trying to catch her balance before she fell against his chest.

Jack glared dully at the offended guy, "Beat it."

Eyes wide, the man slunk away quickly, probably trying to find another girl to dance with.

Kim glared up at him in annoyance. "Hey! What do you think you're doing?"

"We're leaving."

"No _we're_ not. _You_ are! Go away! I'm hanging out with my friend."

He didn't notice the friend until she stumbled around and wrapped her arms tightly around his waist. She was drunk out of her mind. Among her groping, she was also holding onto him for balance. Jack figured this must be Grace.

Grace grinned like a cat, leaning over in front of him to giggle up at him. "Holy shiiiiiit… Are you the God awful cop Kim was talking about? You're fucking hawwwwt. Kim!" Grace shouted at her and punched her shoulder drunkenly, "This guy is sex on a stick! What the hell were you complaining about living with this guy? I would loooooove to live withhim. He is soooo sexy."

Kim made a gag motion and snatched her arm out of his. "Hell no. He's an insufferable butt wad."

Jack's patience was starting to wear thin. She was pissing him off. A lot. He already had to deal with a lot of shit on the regular. He really didn't want to deal with this. Not now. Not here.

He pulled away from Grace and tugged on Kim's arm again. "We're leaving Kim."

"No! You can't just ruin my fun life just cuz my dad's freakin' out!"

"Haven't you learned anything from what happened?!"

She stuck her tongue out at him and ripped her arm out of his grasp, turning around and ignoring him again. Something in him snapped. That was it. Annoyed, and having had enough, he yanked her straight up off the ground and threw her over his shoulder without prelude. He was sure her heels had probably kicked some bystanders in the head, but he was past the point of caring. She wouldn't listen, so now he was using force.

Kim screamed and pounded on his back, kicking her legs.

"Let me go you big oaf! You asshole! Put me down! I'll call the cops!"

"I am the cops. Shut the hell up."

Jack trudged through the group, people watching in amazement at the scene that was unfolding in front of them. The dancing seemed to stop and even the DJ was missing some of his beats because they were all staring at the random guy who just snatched up Kim Crawford and carried her away. It just wasn't something you ever saw. Grace trailed after them, smiling annoyingly up at Kim.

"Kim how do his muscles feel?! Oh my God! I bet it feels like heaven!"

"Shut up Grace! Can't you help?! I'm clearly being abducted!"

They left the VIP lounge, and Jack continued to walk past the dancing throng of people, many of whom stopped and stared at the strange scene. He was going past the bar when another bartender stopped him.

"Um sir, she owes me three hundred dollars in drinks, sir."

Jack glared at him, "Put it on her fucking father's tab. Does it look like I'm made of money?"

The bartender nodded rapidly and went back to taking care of the drinks. The female bartender from earlier sent Jack two thumbs up from behind her post, and he rolled his eyes.

Kim continued to shout at him and she grabbed a handful of his hair at the back, yanking harshly. He grunted in pain and jolted her roughly, making her cough and let go.

"You're a brute! If I get bruises, my father's gonna have your head!"

Her father was gonna have Jack's head anyway for letting his princess out of his sight for one moment. They exited the club, and he ignored all the people's stares and slackened jaws as he went to his car. He swung open the passenger door and dropped her unceremoniously in. She squealed and yanked down her dress.

"Careful! You're going to make me flash everyone!" she huffed.

"How is that any different from every single day of your life?" He turned to Grace who was loopily teetering on her heels, looking in her clutch for the ticket to give to the valet to bring her car around. Jack walked over and snatched it out of her hand, "You're picking up your car tomorrow. Get in my car. I'm taking you home."

It didn't take much to squeeze her in the backseat and before long, they finally left. He got Grace home safely and once she was situated in her home, they finally left from her hotel.

His police radio went off.

_"Hey Jack, Ralph's got something in that skeevy hotel on the corner of Devon and Werkheiser.* Can you go check it out?"_

"I'm on it." He shut the PA system and made a U-turn toward the direction of the hotel in the seedier part of the Glum. Kim sulked in the front, glaring out at the window. He rolled his eyes. She was acting like a petulant child.

Once they got there, he parked a few paces away and cut the engine. Kim hadn't moved from her position and was pouting.

"Stay in the car."

"Why should I?" she muttered.

"Because you're drunk, and I don't want to have to spend days looking for you again."

"I am not drunk!" She turned to him, her cherry brown eyes blazing. "I'm one hundred percent sober."

He narrowed his eyes, "Then why did you owe three hundred to the bartender?"

"Because Grace wanted to fucking drink! I don't drink. Ever."

"Well then that's even more reason to do this."

Before she could ask what he meant, he had pulled a pair of handcuffs out from his back jean pocket and clamped one end to her wrist and the other to the metal grate behind their heads. Kim's jaw dropped and her face burned red.

She was _livid._

"What. The fuck. Is this?" she seethed, yanking her wrist forward.

"Maybe if you behaved, I wouldn't have to take such drastic measures like this."

"Fuck you!"

"Sorry. I don't think you're qualified for that kind of action with me." He responded arrogantly, enjoying Kim's loss of control.

"As if! You think I'd ever want to sleep with a bullheaded jackass like you?"

He smirked and left his car, ignoring her comment.

She gasped. "Wait! You're not seriously going to leave me like this are you? Jack! Jaaaaack!"

He ignored her and locked the door, leaving her in there. Why hadn't he thought of handcuffing her earlier in the first place? And while he was at it, he should have duct taped her mouth shut too. An image of Kim handcuffed to his bedpost and blindfolded in that mini dress of hers popped into his mind, and he quickly forced it out before it gave him an issue. Now was not the time to be having thoughts like that. And especially not about the pest.

He walked into the dingy hotel lobby, feigning nonchalance in case he met trouble from the start. The lobby was clear, save for some rats gnawing on the wall in one corner. The front desk was also empty. He walked over and rang the bell on the counter.

"Hey, I'm looking for somewhere to buy some cigarettes. Know any good places?" Jack called out.

"Did you try the convenience store down the street?" A gruff voice responded, "They've got lots of different brands. They've even got coffee for late night partiers."

Jack's eyes narrowed, "Not a fan of coffee."

A scruffy looking man wearing a doorman's uniform came out of the small office behind the desk, fake reading a newspaper.

"Took you long enough, Jackie."

"So what's the deal, Ralph?"

"I dunno man. A bunch of guys and gals came into this hotel all of a sudden with huge bags."

"Huge bags of what?"

"What d'you think? Huge bags of money, dude."

"Did you contact, Rudy?"

"No good… He's not on evening shift. Pretty sure he's honeymoonin' it up with his gal." Jack and Ralph both shuddered.

Ralph sat comfortably in the torn leather chair, pulling down a corner of the newspaper to speak to Jack. From any outside viewers, their interaction probably looked like a frustrated man trying to book a hotel room from a lazy doorman.

"It's been a while since I seen ya, kid. Hey, how'd that 5th and Wayne case go?" Ralph asked.

Jack's face turned murderous, "I got reassigned before it was closed. I don't know what buffoon is assigned now, but I'm pissed about that shit."

"You and me both man. I've been undercover here for months, but no shit happens that I can jump in. I _wish_ I could be reassigned. Hey, what're you doing now?"

Jack thought about the annoying little blonde that had been throwing a hissy fit in his car, "Nothing important. Lemme go check this out."

Ralph nodded, turning back to his newspaper, "Third floor. Room next to the laundry chute."

Jack rolled his eyes, "How convenient." In past chases, the laundry chute had always been a perfect way to stash any goods and send them off unnoticed. He quietly climbed up the stairs to the third floor and crept around the corner, sneaking over to where the room Ralph had mentioned was. There was loud laughter and definitely the sound of raucous merrymaking.

_"So what's…plan?"_

_"…punk ass will…know what…him. We'll get…Glum…and…he…trash family…gonna get what's…to 'em."_

Jack couldn't really hear the muffled speech through the door very well, but he could make out plenty enough to figure out what they were saying. He leaned forward a bit to try to see if he could capture some more of the speech, but the ground that he placed his foot on squeaked noisily and he froze.

"Hey. Wait a second… you hear something?"

_That_? Jack heard perfectly. And it was right by the door. He leaned one hand against the wall and hunched over, closing his eyes, pretending to heavily dry heave just as the door flung open and a guy peered outside.

"Aw jeez." he sounded disgusted, "Do you have to do that shit right by our room, man?"

Jack feebly raised his other arm, flapping it weakly, "S-sorry dude. Something was in that fucking vodka." He spoke thickly, pretending to dry heave again.

"Probably piss. Can you seriously find somewhere else to do that shit?"

"Who's out there?" a voice from inside called out.

The guy at the door turned around, heading back in and letting the door start to swing close on its own. "Just some drunk dude 'bout to empty his stomach."

Before the door closed, Jack stood straight up and peered through it. He couldn't see anyone else except for one bulky man with an aging hairline. The man had a jagged red scar from his upper lip to his chin. It looked like an old wound.

He figured they wouldn't continue discussing it anymore, especially if they knew someone was outside, and he left from his position, going back the way he came to get to the lobby. There was a drunk teenage couple who wouldn't stop touching each other and giggling in each other's ears looking at the catalog of a few of the rooms.

Ralph looked up in disinterest, "I take it the room wasn't to your liking?" _Find anything?_

Jack glared at him in annoyance. "You should really make sure to check each room. You're not gonna get any business with roaches hanging around." _Keep an eye on them. Something's fishy._

Ralph nodded once curtly, before turning to the couple to try to placate them into staying. After Jack's comment, they had suddenly stopped goofing around and were staring in disgust at the room catalog.

Leaving the hotel, Jack came back to his car, not really paying attention until he reached the front door and looked in the windshield.

Kim was gone.

The door was unlocked and the handcuffs were empty.

Kim. Was. Gone.

Jack ran his fingers through his hair, his frustration starting to build again. Was she fucking kidding him? Was she _fucking_ kidding him? This was beyond not funny.

"Where the fuck did she go?" he growled under his breath, clenching his fist.

He heard the sound of heels behind him and he spun around, seeing Kim walking down the street with a coffee in her hand. She looked up and saw him next to his car and froze, her eyes widening.

"Shit… I was hoping you'd still be gone."

His eyes looked crazy, and he laughed a bit maniacally, "That's it. You're never leaving my sight again. How the fuck did you get out?"

"My dad didn't want me to get kidnapped for ransom when I was a kid. He had a habit of locking me in rooms and shit. I had to learn to adapt."

"A cop car, though?"

He didn't want to admit it, but he was impressed. Even some seasoned criminals were never able to figure out how to break out of the cars or the handcuffs. But if a simple snob bitch was able to get out of the car and cuffs, then they definitely needed to reinforce the equipment. Perhaps an entire squad upgrade was in favor.

"I've had my fair share of experiences in a cop car."

"You've been arrested before?"

He'd never heard of her getting arrested before in the police station and no doubt, that would have had high publicity.

She winked, "Not quite."

His lip curled. He didn't even want to know. "Get in the car."

"No way! It's hot and cramped in there."

Taking a deep breath, he stalked over to her and towered over her, trying to intimidate the rebellious woman. "Get. In. The. Car. Or I'll make you."

"I'll splash this hot coffee on you if you ever lay a hand on me again!"

"Crawford, you are only making this shit harder for yourself. If you just act like a good little girl and just listen to what I tell you, we wouldn't have these problems." He hissed, taking another threatening step towards her.

She sneered and backed up, holding her cup menacingly, "Don't patronize me. I'm not a kid. And I definitely don't need a fucking babysitter."

"Get in the car."

"If that didn't work the first time, what makes you think it'll work the–EEK!"

He didn't wait for her to finish before he grabbed her free arm and pulled her to the car, forcing her to take wide, long steps to keep up…or lose her arm.

"OW! Okay Jack! Stop pulling! It fucking hurts!"

He didn't say a word and yanked her around to the passenger side of the car. He ripped open the door and all but shoved her in there, slamming it shut in her face. He walked to his side and slammed his own door shut, igniting his car and peeling out with such force and anger that Kim stared at him in shock. He was gripping the while so tightly, his fingertips were white while his jaw was clenched.

"I'm done fucking being accommodating." He grit out.

She snorted, "Oh biiiiiig surprise. Big bad Officer Brewer can't handle a little lip once in a while."

He didn't say a word and only upped his speed to the police station. She saw the tips of his ears were somewhat red. She held back a smile at that. It was honestly so much fun to rile him up sometimes. He was cute when he got mad.

In record time, they reached the station. Without a word, he slapped the handcuffs around both her wrists and only glared when she gave him an incredulous, questioning look.

"Really? Do you really think I'm going to run off right now?"

"Get out."

Rolling her eyes, she did the best she could to climb out of the car all while holding her coffee cup and keeping her dress from flying up and showing that she had actually gone commando. He waited impatiently by his side and when she reached him, he tugged on her elbow and pulled her roughly through the doors and the corridor, once again, forcing her to take wide steps to avoid crashing to the ground.

He opened the door roughly and everyone inside on night shift and night duty stared at them in shock. Kim in handcuffs and Jack looking like he wanted to crush some rocks with his bare hands.

Jerry looked impressed, "_Duuuude_! Already got to handcuffs and everything?! Mad impressive."

Jack ignored him and threw Kim into a vacant chair near Jerry. A few drops of coffee skipped out of the cup and if she hadn't moved her hand at the last minute, it would have spilled onto her dress.

"Careful you brute! This is silk!"

"Shut up and stay there. If you move an inch from that spot, I swear you'll never leave your room again."

Jerry whistled suggestively, "Damn Jack. You are one aggressive dude. I never would've expected that from you." He turned to Kim, "Does he leave bruises?"

She pouted, "He does! He's so rough with me and even though I asked him to stop, he only was more rough! Doesn't he know how to treat a lady? What a brute."

Jerry nodded sympathetically, "Yeah, what a brute. Jack c'mon. You have to be gentle with ladies, or they'll never have a good time."

"Would you two stop talking like that?!" Jack snapped, "People might get the wrong idea."

Kim shrugged nonchalantly, sipping her coffee. The motion looked strange because of her wrists being bound together. "Let them. My rep is already trashed anyway."

Jack stopped himself from retorting when he realized something was off about the way she had made that statement. Like she was trying hard to _make_ herself believe it by saying it a bunch of times. In reality, she sounded kind of bummed. From the confused and questioning looks on some of the other patron's faces, they had also picked up on that odd quirk in her voice.

"Jerry, who's in today?" he asked, breaking the silence, though he was still scrutinizing Kim's expression.

"Sergeant Ty. Watch out. Rudy apparently sent him a picture of him getting laid and now Ty is out for blood."

Jack shook his head in disgust. He didn't understand Rudy and Ty's rivalry at all. There were rumors in the past that they used to just bicker about small things but they had transcended that and were now into comparing rather private (and honestly disgusting) things.

Jack walked to Ty's office further in the room and knocked twice on the glass window of the door before coming in.

"Yo, Ty."

He looked up from his paperwork. His brows were set in a deep furrow and there was the unmistakable glint of irritation in his features. Yupp. He was probably out for blood. "Oh it's just you Brewer."

"Who's been reassigned to my old position? I have some notes on the case that might come in handy."

Ty sighed, not bothering looking up, "I don't know. You'd have to ask Lieutenant Wasabi for that information." Jack cringed. Bobby Wasabi was not someone he enjoyed talking to. "Also, do you know any women who are looking to get laid tonight?"

Jack frowned slightly, not even wanting to answer that question. No doubt, Ty was looking to settle the score with Rudy. "No clue."

"I swear that little chipmunk man gets the greatest kicks out of shit like this." He grumbled under his breath. Ty sighed again and rubbed his temples. "Did you need something else, Brewer, cuz I get the feeling you didn't come here for a friendly chit-chat."

"It's about Crawford."

Ty smirked, "Oh yes. Jerry told me all about how earlier today, you two were all over each other."

Jack glared at him, "He said what?"

"I know what he was implying was not true, of course. I take it neither of you are particularly keen on the other?"

"Exactly!" Jack threw his hands up in frustration, "I can't take it anymore! She's pissing me the fuck off, and I'm fed up with her constantly acting like an immature little priss!"

Ty rolled his eyes, "We all end up with some shitty jobs once in a while, Brewer. It's part of being a cop. Besides, there's nothing I can do about it. The only thing I can tell you is to work hard on finding the threat. The sooner you find them, the sooner you can ditch the blonde."

Jack sighed in annoyance. Looks like he was stuck with her for however long this stupid job went on. But Ty was right. If he could just find a way to stop the threats and find the perpetrator and quell the attacks, then he'd be able to get rid of her faster. He could finally have his life back and go back to his plans. He had someone he had to find, after all.

Jack left Ty's office shortly after and walked back to the main room, half expecting Kim to be gone, but she was still there, sipping her coffee in that weird handcuffed way, playing a quick game of poker with Frank and Jerry. Jerry was holding her cards for her while she dictated what he played. Frank was losing really badly, and when he whimpered once she won another hand, she laughed merrily, her melodic voice filling up the room, much to everyone's shock. They all paused and stared at her. Jack was caught off guard, because the smile was not like her usual cat-like grins or haughty smirks. This was a real, genuine smile and laugh that made her eyes sparkle and made her seem for once like a normal young woman and not the pompous daughter of a multibillionaire.

She turned her gaze to where she saw him in the corner and just like that, her face fell.

"Oh no. The Neanderthal is back. Guess it's time to go back to his smelly man cave."

Jack didn't say a word and unclipped the handcuffs from her wrist with his keys. Kim was surprised and her eyebrows rose as she looked up at him questioningly. He didn't respond to her questioning gaze and instead began to leave the room. What had that been all about? She rubbed her wrists as she stood up and followed at a slightly farther pace, wondering what had made him change his mind.

"Yo Jack, don't forget about Mika and my baby shower this weekend."

He stopped walking. Shit, he _had_ forgotten.

Jack groaned, "Can't I just skip?" Parties at Jerry's house were the worst. Mika's crazy girlfriends would always be crawling all over his lap and acting like fools just to try to seduce him. It was very stressful and it often made him feel like he was back in college being forced to be the rope in the girls' tug of war games.

"You are not leaving me there by myself in a place crawling with crazy women. Bring Kim too! Nobody will believe me that I played cards with _the_ Kim Crawford!"

Kim laughed, "I'd like to come. I want to meet your wife and tell her how you shamelessly flirted with me on the first day you met me."

Jerry grimaced, "On second thought, maybe you shouldn't come Jack."

Jack's eyes narrowed, "Actually, that's not a bad idea. I'll see you this weekend, Jerry."

"Damn you Kim…" Jerry mock whimpered.

She waved goodbye and followed Jack out the door and the building to his old car instead of the cop car that was resting in the parking lot. She hopped into the passenger seat, and he drove off back to his home.

Once they got back, the first thing Kim did was crash onto the couch, letting out a loud, tired moan. Even though she had acted rowdy, she was still hella exhausted and after partying, she usually found herself in need of a long night of sleep.

Jack went straight to take a shower, hoping to wash the grime off of his skin. When he was done, he thought Kim would have gone to bed by then. She hadn't said anything during the entire ride back and he had caught her nodding off multiple times. But the lights in the living room were still on. He walked quietly out there and saw her conked out on the couch.

"Hey, Crawford… Go to bed." She grunted softly, but otherwise remained dead asleep. He nudged her lightly, "Crawford." A snore.

Sighing in annoyance, he rolled his eyes and picked her lightly up bridal style and carried her to the guest room bed. He set her down softly, and then turned around to leave. He had been planning to leave her as is, but she let out a little shiver, and he could see goosebumps on her skin. Shoulders slumping, he stopped and came back around, pulling the covers out from under her and settling them on top of her body. She snuggled into the covers and curled up into a cute ball, a contented sigh escaping her lips. Her face relaxed into her sleep, and she mewled like a cat.

"Thanks…" she mumbled quietly.

Jack tried not to smile as he cut the lights and closed her door.

* * *

***If you got this, then props to you. You get a cookie ;P**

**I love writing childish Jack and Kim. Moar coming soon.**

**Questions? Concerns? Lemme know :)  
**


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